Free Agents by Name Homophone

-by DNOMN8R314

After the positive response of NFL Player Spoonerisms, here’s another bit of wordplay frivolity.

Each phrase below is the definition of a homophone of the name of a current NFL free agent. (Example using a Patriot who is not a free agent: “Builder of small huts” is a homophone of “shack mason,” or “Shaq Mason.”) Try and figure out which player fits with each phrase. Again, please throw logic out the window. (As a hint, every player below ended his 2017 season with a different team. Also, all players are unrestricted free agents at the time of writing, unless I made a mistake, in which case they’re not.)

Phrases:

  1. Yearning to travel to a Far Eastern country
  2. Apply a lusterless finish at a higher frequency
  3. Blossoms of a sign above a theatre entrance
  4. Slippery warlord
  5. Bread beside a hammer
  6. Lightly tap virtual people
  7. One who checks the age of a military vehicle
  8. Embankment atop ringing instrument
  9. Peaceful whirlpool
  10. Direct, uninhibited bloodshed
  11. Rug above wine cask
  12. Hirsute did not shovel as much
  13. Wooden club victory
  14. Completely top off acquisitions
  15. Flat container at Massachusetts capital
  16. Apartment toilet
  17. Insane coffee
  18. Put a symbol on the salt block belonging to that woman
  19. Arrow launcher hex wrench
  20. Church relatives
  21. Banter in a chair
  22. Toward this place, pimple
  23. White bird atop residence
  24. Spiced tea to be used in the tub
  25. Minister in Texas capital
  26. Oil machinery along with the male offspring of that woman
  27. Additional British currency
  28. Military post carried along by silica grains
  29. Christmas saint of Homeric city
  30. Knot, sprint, strolling person!
  31. Make a mistake (ew!), peruse
  32. Pry open unit of mass

Extra hint:

If you need the teams, they are, in order:

Bills, Dolphins, Patriots, Jets,
Ravens, Bengals, Browns, Steelers,
Texans, Colts, Jaguars, Titans,
Broncos, Chiefs, Chargers, Raiders,
Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Redskins,
Bears, Lions, Packers, Vikings,
Falcons, Panthers, Saints, Buccaneers,
Cardinals, Rams, 49ers, Seahawks.

(Yes, I went straight in order of division and conference. Complaints may be directed at the heavens.)

Answers:

  1. Taiwan Jones (Taiwan jones)
  2. Matt Moore (matte more)
  3. Marquis Flowers (marquee’s flowers)
  4. Kony Ealy (Kony eely)
  5. Ryan Mallett (rye and mallet)
  6. Pat Sims (pat sims)
  7. Tank Carder (tank carder)
  8. Le’Veon Bell (levee on bell)
  9. Eddie Pleasant (eddy pleasant)
  10. Frank Gore (frank gore)
  11. Matt Overton (mat over tun)
  12. Harry Douglas (hairy dug less)
  13. Billy Wynn (billy win)
  14. Phillip Gaines (fill up gains)
  15. Tre Boston (tray Boston)
  16. Jon Condo (john condo)
  17. Joe Looney (joe loony)
  18. Mark Herzlich (mark hers lick)
  19. Beau Allen (bo allen)
  20. Kirk Cousins (kirk cousins)
  21. Josh Sitton (josh sittin’)
  22. Tahir Whitehead (to here, whitehead)
  23. Davon House (dove on house)
  24. Kai Forbath (chai for bath)
  25. Austin Pasztor (Austin pastor)
  26. Derek Anderson (derrick and her son)
  27. Sterling Moore (sterling more)
  28. Garrison Sanborn (garrison sand-borne)
  29. Troy Niklas (Troy Nicholas)
  30. Tyrunn Walker (tie, run, walker)
  31. Eric Reid (err ick read)
  32. Jimmy Graham (jimmy gram)

I did not plan on having nearly as many long snappers on here as quarterbacks. Isn’t that something.

Hope you enjoyed!

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bring
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bring

Don Banks thinks AZ will cut honey badger and the Pats might be a fit

Neil X
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Neil X

Why would they do that?

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Found this to be interesting:
Danielle Hunter (25 sacks in first 3 seasons in the NFL):
6’5, 252, 34 1/4 arm, 10 1/2 hand, 4.57 40 yard dash, 1.58 10 yard split, 36 1/2 vertical, 130 broad jump

Georgia DE/OLB Lorenzo Carter:
6’5, 250, 34 arm, 10 3/8 hand, 4,5 40 yard dash, 36 vertical, 130 broad

Hunter was a projected Day 2 pick and was picked late 3rd round by the Vikings.
Carter is also projected to be Day 2. I am not saying Carter’s development will be the same but I found the similarities striking

cfpats4
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cfpats4

Aldon Smith is on the loose, hide the woman and children

hugo #FreeBoney
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hugo #FreeBoney

42 sacks in his first 43 regular season games then out of the league. Gonna be a trivia question some day.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

He will never play again.

JLStokes
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JLStokes

I’m sure I’m not the first to say this, but I’d love to have Shaq Griffen on the Patriots.

cfpats4
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cfpats4

he’s better than Elandon Roberts

M.Fan
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M.Fan

there is a very long list of players who are better than E. Roberts.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Probably not going to happen but at the very least he’d be a very good special teamer. I just hope he goes to a team where they can put him in a position to succeed. He’s probably too light to play OLB for the Pats

hugo #FreeBoney
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hugo #FreeBoney

There’s a bunch of linebackers in this group. Tremaine Edmunds, Malik Jefferson, Leighton Vander Esch. I suspect we can do better than Griffin when draft day comes around. I like him though.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

I also like Fred Warner and Jerome Baker but may not meet the physical requirements of a Pats LB. (Like Warner more)

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Rashaan Evans another one

JLStokes
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JLStokes

He’s my favorite player I KNOW won’t be available to the Pats.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

He might very well be there at 31

MasterAndCommander
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MasterAndCommander

WAKE UP!!!

PatriotPrideBoy
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PatriotPrideBoy

Anyone up

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Time to sleep, see ya guys

NewEnglandBlight
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NewEnglandBlight

I’d rather be watching football

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Yep, like expected Shape of Water is the winner of the night with 4 Oscars, specially best movie and best director

memokerobi
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memokerobi

There was absolutely nothing special about this movie :/

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I felt the same when Lalaland won all those Oscars 🙂

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

You know it’s a down year when The Shape of Water wins best picture.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Just no

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I missed this one. Francis McDormand wins her 2nd

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

As expected Gary Oldman finally wins a deserved Oscar

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Nailed it one more time 🙂

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Guilherme Del Toro for best director

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Mr. Eddie Vedder

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

The guy helped me survive my childhood. I will always be eternally grateful.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Really liked the music in Shape of Water so this is also a good choice imo

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

i’m just a biased Hans Zimmer fan 🙂

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

i always vote for Hans Zimmer

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

Zesplat!

cqrun
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cqrun

Never watched the movie but often listen to the soundtrack while working.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I think Blade Runner deserves this one also

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I didn’t see it.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

It is worth to watch it. Great special effects, great images, remarkable work.
The story is good, although i’m not a fan of the final

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

There can be only one Bladerunner. Not a fan of remakes, in spite of this one being good.

rondo723
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rondo723

it was a sequel tho

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

They tried to explain the ending which irritated me.

The remake comment was for the concept not the story. I should have clarified.

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

To me, the best movies are those that when you think back on them, it doesn’t feel like you watched them, but lived them. I am actually starting to think that I feel that way about “Call me by your name” so I think it might deserve all the awards that it will eventually win tonight.

cqrun
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cqrun

There was a little kid in the teacher’s trashcan?

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

WOWWWWWWWWWWW

“Get out” won an Oscar

memokerobi
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memokerobi

I kind of guessed it would get one. I think this is the most fitting award. It shouldn’t win another one.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

I hope Daniel Day-Lewis wins his 4th best actor and walks off into the sunset but I think it will be Oldman as well

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Daniel Day-Lewis is the TB12 of acting.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

and what is Meryl Streep? 🙂

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Gisele?

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

Peyton Manning? Somehow fails to win the big one?

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The Oscars have more commercial breaks than an NFL game 🙂

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Americans love commercials, that’s why they don’t like soccer lol

cqrun
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cqrun

$2M for a 30 sec spot. Live events are one of the few things that can still get large audiences around a TV. You better bet TV execs will take full advantage.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Oh man, i’m nailing all of them 🙂

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

That’s what I said when I went to that sorority party 30 years back.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Dunkirk wins this one

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Nailed it again 🙂

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I would give this one to Blade Runner

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Good song. You have good taste, MattDog

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Thanks buddy.

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

We’re all Pats fans, so we all have good taste!

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

Ricomandog wants to have a word with you.

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

LOL, c’mon. He’s gotta be a Jets troll, right?

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

He’s bonafide Patriots fan just like Felger and Mazz, Shaughnessy and Borges.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

I don’t think he even likes football- he just enjoys being miserable.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

KOBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Congratulations, Laker bruh.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

There must have been a mistake 🙂

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

Of course Kobe, Hollywood Lakers duh.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone
MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I watched it. It was good. But I didn’t watch any of the others and I probably never will, so who knows?

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

What’s the baseline for good though? I’ll take your word for that it was worth it.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

nah, it was well deserved

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Kobe for the win 🙂

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

The best original song nominee was nominated for the wrong song. Because this song wasn’t chosen to be in the film. But it should’ve been. And it should’ve won:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUvVjWR3zTQ

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Nice song

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I love Sufjan. I once bought a ticket to see his show at the Middle East in Cambridge but I missed it because it coincided with my other love, the Patriots home opener (I forget the year.)

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Best Actor: Gary Oldman

Best Actress: Saoirse Ronan

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Well deserved

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

My fav is Allison Janney

memokerobi
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memokerobi

nailed it

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I loved Laurie Metcalf too but Janney was equally good.

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I didn’t get a chance to watch the foreign language films this year but in the past, when I paid attention to these things, the best foreign language films were the best films.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

vaughn mcclure
@vxmcclure23
Source tells me the Falcons are one of multiple teams discussing a Michael Bennett trade with the Seahawks. Nothing imminent but will be interesting to see how it all unfolds.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Your opinion about Blade Runner 2049?

memokerobi
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memokerobi

didn’t watch so no comment.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Did you watch the first one?

memokerobi
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memokerobi

nope that’s why I didn’t watch the second. I want to watch the first but can’t get myself to watch old movies.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I rewatched the first one and then watched the second this Saturday. It’s worth to do it.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Here is the first one for Shape of Water

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I just don’t get the hype around “Get Out”

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Yeah not an Oscar worthy film imo

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Wow, I’m agreeing with you too much tonight.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The aerial images on Dunkirk are outstanding, my favorite part of the movie

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Christopher Nolan is amazing. It was just visually stunning to watch with hardly any dialogue. It was gorgeous.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I also liked Dunkirk and Three Bilboards, but you already watched some of that cinematography in Saving Private Ryan and Fargo

memokerobi
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memokerobi

I thought Saving Private Ryan and Dunkirk had very different styles

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The start of Saving Private Ryan (almost first 30 minutes)

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

The first female cinematoraphy nominee for “Mudbound” is from Cambridge, MA my chosen home. I absolutely loved what she did in that film, not because she is female or because she is from Cambridge but because she did an amazing job. I hope she wins it!

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

I may be slightly drunk but I feel that having a NT like Vita Vea can potentially get Belichick some innovative combinations in all three downs compared to Payne. With Payne you get an elite 4-3 interior guy, great at run stuffing and rushing the passer, but not sure how he gets utilized in nickel formations. With Vita Vea, you get him to play 0 and 1 gap run downs, and 3 gap on passing downs.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

Thought he got sent home with a heart condition or is he the kid that pulled his hamstring?

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Hurst got sent home with the heart condition. I’m high on Hurst, looked as dominant as Aaron Donald in Michigan

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

I doubt the Pats take a chance on him after the whole Armstead debacle.

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

If Hurst somehow is available after Day 2, Pat’s would have to take a chance.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

Never.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

I don’t think he’ll be there when the Pats pick if his heart checks out, if not I wouldn’t want the Pats to get him as well

dfwpatsfan
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dfwpatsfan

I appreciate that thought but it seems that he has the same thing Star Lotulei has. If that is the case, and other teams shy away, I hope the Pats take a chance. A 4th around pick for a player with higher upside is totally worth it.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Trump: “Come on Hollywwod, that’s fake news. My friend Putin couldn’t cheat anyone”

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

Who do you like for best picture>?

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Shape of Water

memokerobi
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memokerobi

absolutely not. It is a very ordinary subject, Beauty and the Beast. I didn’t find it to be special.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The movie is so unique. I’m a big fan of Guillerme Del Toro

memokerobi
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memokerobi

What is unique about it? Women falls in love with creature, has been in movies hundreds of times

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

No, the movie is about the love of 2 outcasts, with that environment of Cold War. Smart movie and also funny

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I do love Guillermo Del Toro but I don’t think this was my favorite move that I’ve seen so far. I wasn’t expecting to like it but I actually loved Lady Bird. I also reall enjoyed Dunkirk. However, I’m afraid the academy may chose “Call me by your name” which really didn’t do anything for me.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Don’t get me wrong I thought it was a good movie but I don’t think it’s worth the best picture.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

All 3 Oscar Awards were well deserved. Spot on imo

memokerobi
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memokerobi

https://www.mockdraftable.com/player/leighton-vander-esch

Very impressive athletic numbers from Vander Esch

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

He’ll probably get picked before the Pats.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Possibly by the Steelers but there is a solid chance he is there when the Pats pick. Regardless, there will be lots of good LBs on the board when the Pats are on the clock

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

Seemed like the best group so far.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

LB-RB-CB-IOL look like good groups

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

I wasn’t impressed with the DL group.

memokerobi
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memokerobi

Me neither, QB is also a good one I think. So QB, Interior Offensive line, RB, LB, CB. Don’t know much about safeties but think DL and WR are obvious weak groups

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

Can Kobe Bryant be the first pro athlete to win a Oscar tonight?

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

Only if he’s a “Konehead”.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

refresh 😛

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

True, i didn’t know

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The reason why Darkest Hour won the Oscar of Makeup and Hairstyling

comment image

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

I nailed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Superb performance IMO

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

The Oscars are on.

Deadsmack #NotDone
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Deadsmack #NotDone

The movie “THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI” is really good, but Sam Rockwell performance is amazing

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

I haven’t been to the movies in 20 years.

Calipatsfan3473
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Calipatsfan3473

I missed that one.

MattDog #FreeBoney
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MattDog #FreeBoney

I’ve been binge-watching oscar nominees all weekend. It was a great performance!