NFL Player Spoonerisms

-by DNOMN8R314

The offseason has begun, and even though the league year has not started, we are already on to 2018, a new year and an unstained slate (surprise, it’s a Tide ad). So here’s a little time-waster while we await the combine.

For the uninitiated, a spoonerism is when two letters or sounds are switched in a word or phrase, such as “shake a tower” instead of “take a shower.”

Below are (10?) definitions, each of a two-word phrase that is the spoonerism of the name of an NFL player. See how many you can get! (Example: “Lots of people remove apple centers” would give the definition of “many core,” a spoonerism of “Kenny Moore.”)

Also, pay no attention to the logic – or lack of such – of any of the phrases below. Answers immediately below phrases.

Phrases:

  1. Prohibit during every 24-hour period
  2. Downpour at the old Mets stadium
  3. Maryland congressman Hoyer is a murderer
  4. Castles make babies
  5. British thug runnin’ quickly
  6. Payment for an accidentally-fictitious synonym for “density”
  7. Fruity-red hardwood tree
  8. Poor bridal gift
  9. How Will Smith tells his son to work in the garden
  10. Dead body takin’ its post

Answers:

  1. Dan Bailey (ban daily)
  2. Shane Ray (rain Shea)
  3. Kenny Stills (Steny kills)
  4. Brooks Reed (rooks breed)
  5. Doug Martin (mug dartin’)
  6. Dee Ford (fee dord)
  7. Barry Church (cherry birch)
  8. Dean Lowry (lean dowry)
  9. Joe Haden (hoe Jaden)
  10. Marcus Cannon (carcass mannin’)

That’s all I’ve got. Have fun! (Or rather, since this conclusion comes after the answers, I hope you had fun… oh, forget it.)

—-

The in-season TUMS-O-METER has been put away until September. However, sInce the Combine is still a couple of weeks away, free agency starts mid-March, and the draft isn’t until April, let’s see how well members of Bruh Nation can do for the following predictions:
1. Patriot free agents the team signs/keeps (give names)
2. Patriot free agents the team loses (give names)
3. Free agents from other teams the Patriots sign (give names)
4. How many draft picks the Patriots actually use (number)
5. The player positions the Patriots actually draft
6. How many trades between now and the opening of training camp (number)

Just a thought for some offseason fun. Enjoy and good luck.

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336 Comments on "NFL Player Spoonerisms"

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NewEnglandBlight
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Also, hate to say it.. but that was Brady’s last year of greatness. He’s not cut out for another 16 game season..Report

Mattsky
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Blasphemy!Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Brady will be great when you and I are quivering in fear over post-apocolyptic cannibals, radioactive vegetables, and acid rain. I’m worried about many eventualities in my advancing years: declining middle-class, global warming, mutually-assured destruction, failing liver…but Tom Brady not being able to accurately read a defense and throw a football is not one of them.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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possiby the best response to my prognostication of doom.. touche good sirReport

NewEnglandBlight
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possibly*Report

Neil X
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Man, it’s kind of hard to take that it’s likely that there will be no Patriots news of significance until the opening of free agency. They’re not going to tag anybody. The most significant thing coming might be some restructures to cap space and some anticipated cuts of salary (Harris, McClellin, Branch, Allen, Cyrus Jones).Report

cqrun
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Goodell will think of something.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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Good, that will let the wound heal up.. hearing more about the Pats right now just rips the bandaid off too early.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Really strange musical choices in figure skating.Report

Jonc77
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they sucked you inReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Nah, not really. I’d rather be doing mock drafts!Report

MasterAndCommander
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USA Men’s hockey sport tomorrow morning.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Great! Let’s all quit our jobs and watch it.Report

Jonc77
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Cali is rich he will float us a loanReport

Calipatsfan3473
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Don’t think so.Report

Jonc77
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man you are heartless. u feed a dog steak but you wont help out another human being?Report

Jonc77
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so Loyko knows Olympics too?Report

Calipatsfan3473
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As long as mom sends a ham sandwich down to the basement.Report

Jonc77
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meatloafReport

MasterAndCommander
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His knowledge is endlessReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Especially in hindsight.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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I watched the women’s hockey game between Japan and Switzerland.. man, was that some bad hockey.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Like women’s soccer was not long ago, women’s hockey is still trying to expand the number of competitive teams.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Are you guys for real with this Olympics? Should I really be watching? On a scale of 0 to Baseball, how boring is it???? (J.k. Jon)Report

Jonc77
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im watching jeopardy. i havent tuned into the olympicsReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Are you one of those people that knows every single answer? My cousin is like that. He’s either a genius or he has access to some pre-taped European feed.Report

Jonc77
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no not at allReport

MasterAndCommander
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Just witnessed an awesome half-pipe competition,Report

Neil X
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Well the mens and womens half pipe was wicked entertaining. I like the Olympics. I like watching a sport once every 4 years and never once in between. I even like curling.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Ok…can we make a drinking game out of it? I’m in!Report

NewEnglandBlight
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every time an announcer says an elongated “wow”.. you have to drink.. drink twice if the wow is unwarranted.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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So, twice every time?Report

NewEnglandBlight
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every time.. all the time.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Dilly dillyReport

MasterAndCommander
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Same here. Most of the events are interesting. Curling has a hint of chess on ice.Report

Neil X
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Curling has the identical rules as the Norwegian variant of bocce. They even call the last throw the hammer.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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I haven’t seen chess on ice in the olympics yet.. but hey, anything is possible.Report

MasterAndCommander
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You get a stuffed tiger and you get a stuffed tiger and you get a stuff tigerReport

NewEnglandBlight
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Is that what it is? I thought it’s some weird hybrid yeti-hog.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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Wait.. they don’t get medals.. they just get little zebra pigs!?!?Report

MasterAndCommander
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Medal ceremony is later.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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And now for figure skating.. whyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYyyyYYyYYyReport

LaFeteMattDog
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MasterAndCommander
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LOLReport

NewEnglandBlight
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It’s like having grandma walk in right after reaching third base for the first time.Report

MasterAndCommander
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UmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmReport

Neil X
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I like figure skating. It’s always good for a few violent faceplants. Isn’t that the main reason to watch the Olympics?Report

MasterAndCommander
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I guess NASCAR season can start soon enough for you.Report

Neil X
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Nah, you don’t get to SEE the drivers faceplant. When an ice skater goes down, they take up the full screenReport

NewEnglandBlight
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yeah.. kinda the same with watching tight rope walking.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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That was the best half pipe competition I’ve ever seen.. what a contest!Report

MasterAndCommander
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Walk off goldReport

NewEnglandBlight
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The kid from Japan was unreal.. between the qualifying’s yesterday and the finals today, it was probably the best olympic sports even I’ve watched besides hockey.Report

PatriotPrideBoy
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Half pipe sounds like a euphemism for a mediocre dateReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Sounds like a bad day for a crackhead.Report

Jonc77
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poor girlReport

NewEnglandBlight
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WOOHOOO!!! CRAZY HALF PIPEReport

MasterAndCommander
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BOOM!!! GOLD!!!!!!Report

NewEnglandBlight
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SEAN WHITE WOOOOReport

MasterAndCommander
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Now we wait…….Report

bring
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I will wait 30 secs before my next updated scoreReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Appreciate it brother! Nice empty netter from the Cap’n.Report

MasterAndCommander
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I do what I can for the cause.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Empty netter for the Cap’n….no fish for the crew tonight?Report

MasterAndCommander
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Lol.Report

Mattsky
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Dave Brown
‏@ThatDaveBrown

2018 #Patriots mock draft:

Round 1 (31): Some guy from Alabama.
R2 (41): Total bust CB.
R2 (63): Traded to Bears for four future 1st round picks.
R3 (95): QB from a dopey school/future NFL MVP.
R6 (191): Toss up between Urban Meyer’s nephew and Nick Saban’s godson.Report

NewEnglandBlight
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this is the best mockdraft i’ve heard yetReport

MasterAndCommander
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Hey, a mock draft that mocks itself.Report

Pauly
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Needs more LAX players. And torn ACLs.Report

MasterAndCommander
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LolReport

MasterAndCommander
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Welp. Shaun White now in second. Has one more run to go.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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It’s hard for me to get wrapped up in judged competitions. I appreciate what they do but how can you really say one run is better than another (unless it’s far and away better or somebody wipes out.) Dealing with the subjectivity of NFL officiating is difficult enough.Report

Pauly
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Hope he’s got something in his back pocket. Would like to see him go out on top.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Gonna need it.Report

Pauly
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If they had any style they would have spraypainted “F*** BRADY” on the Liberty Bell. Vandalism is a lost art.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Gonna be that way until they start cutting people, the combine, etc.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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I know I shouldn’t care but can somebody who does twitter tweet to that Philly douche. —>

Tom Brady has won more Super Bowl MVPs in 18 years than Philly has won Super Bowls in 84 years.Report

Pauly
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Oh let him have his fun. They won. Live and let live. At least until the revolution. Then they hang like dogs.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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“Fuck Brady”? I’m sorry but that doesn’t fly with me. I remember being in the streets of Kenmore Square when the Pats won their first ever Super Bowl and nobody was spray painting “Fuck Kurt Warner”…In fact, we just wanted to celebrate our beloved team, that chose to run out in unison, rather than be introduced as individuals. Philly just doesn’t know what they’re doing.Report

rking88
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“acting like you’ve been there before” is a lost artReport

Pauly
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Matt…Boston is the town that made “F*** Jeter” a thing. Let Philly have their moment.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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But “Yankees Suck!” Shouldn’t we let them know? Asking for a friend.Report

Mattsky
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I was shocked when I started college in MA in 1981 at all the hate towards the Yankees. Bumper stickers, T-shirts and stuff like that. I never saw anything like that in NY about Boston.Report

Pauly
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Boston had a serious little brother complex back then. Why would NY have that stuff? They were New York!Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Honestly, I don’t get it either. Baseball is boring. Who really cares?Report

Jonc77
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yeah but soccer is exciting.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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The majority of the world’s population agrees!!Report

Pauly
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LOLReport

bring
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4-2 BsReport

LaFeteMattDog
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Spoiler alert! I guess my stream is :30 behind.Report

bring
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It’s on NESNReport

Pauly
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DINGOAAAAAAALReport

LaFeteMattDog
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To hump every leg in Australia?Report

Pauly
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And eat every baby, yesReport

LaFeteMattDog
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I don’t have cable, Too expensive.Report

Panic Time
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Ok guys, no easy to chat on this $2 phone. Stay safe and make sure BB doesn’t draft asafety in the second roundReport

Pauly
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Smoke signals or GTFOReport

cqrun
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But then he can’t send clear signals.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Featured!!Report

bring
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3-2 BsReport

Pauly
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DingoalReport

MasterAndCommander
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Dingo 2.0Report

Pauly
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Dingo II: Electric BoogalooReport

Panic Time
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I’m in before Doom struckReport

MasterAndCommander
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??????Report

Panic Time
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Isn’t the bblog scheduled to dieReport

MasterAndCommander
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Not really. It’s a matter of whether Zoo’s new set up is used, or if Frank has something new, or if they both work on something together. We’ll have something.Report

Pauly
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Two sites! What are we, hippies? They shall fight to the death for our amusement and only the winner will know glory mwuhahahahahaaha!!!!!!Report

Pauly
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Agreed.Report

rking88
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anybody here?Report

Pauly
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MasterAndCommander
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What am I….chopped liver?Report

Panic Time
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Don’t pretend to be bacon nowReport

Panic Time
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Dead bodiesReport

MasterAndCommander
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Broons tied at 2 after 2.Report

Pauly
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Where the heck is Dingo with our score by score updates? Slacker!Report

MasterAndCommander
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Shaun White is no nonsense tonight.Report

Pauly
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Gettin’ older will do that to you.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Real vs. PSG tomorrow? Should be fun!Report

MasterAndCommander
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What about Fake vs. MSG?Report

LaFeteMattDog
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LOL, depends…is that Madison Square Garden or monosodium glutamate? Either way, I’m picking Fake!!Report

MasterAndCommander
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LaFeteMattDog
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Aloha.Report

DinoScapelli
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OK, I can take a hint. I’m out.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Zoo said we won’t be fired in the new set-up. But he and Frank need to get in contact.Report

LaFeteMattDog
Member
Free agent

Don’t go!Report

DinoScapelli
Editor
Free agent

The Pats need a player like Reuben Foster!
But not a person like Reuben Foster.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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Corned beef, swiss cheese, and sauerkraut on rye promoted to grow or develop….oh wait, I was supposed to jumble those letters first? That’s too hard.Report

cqrun
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How can thou forget sand island….Report

Deadsmack #NotDone
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NFL Full First Round Mock Draft with Updated Draft Order | NFL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnAgkJtFK6k

#31 pick – Pats pick Harrison Philips, DT, StanfordReport

LaFeteMattDog
Member
Free agent

“Who’s been wrong more than Charley Casserly since he left the Redskins?” -Bill BelichickReport

Calipatsfan3473
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Hope he’s not another Richards- smart but can’t play.Report

LaFeteMattDog
Member
Free agent

I don’t think the book has been written yet on Jordan Richards. I know he’s sucked and it’s easy to kick him when he’s down but you know who seems to believe in him? Bill Belichick. Remember, he just completed his 3rd year (2nd was completely wiped out with an injury.) Edelman was playing defensive back his 3rd year in the NFL. I’m not saying he’s going to be a great player but just that he seems to have the work ethic and intelligence where I wouldn’t write him off just yet.Report

Calipatsfan3473
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Free agent

He stinks.Report

LaFeteMattDog
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People used to say the same about you but look at you now!Report

Deadsmack #NotDone
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People also said Fleming was smart but couldn’t playReport

MasterAndCommander
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Free agent

Time for dinner.Report

dp73
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It traditional here to tell us what you are having for dinner 🙂Report

MasterAndCommander
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My apologies ….. ChineseReport

Calipatsfan3473
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He’ll be having a bowl of Captain Crunch 🙂Report

MasterAndCommander
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Not sure i’d like the Bruins to go after Nash. —>>>Report

Calipatsfan3473
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Free agent

Justin Houston being cut by KC—–>Report

dp73
Member
Free agent

Where?Report

dp73
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Free agent
Calipatsfan3473
Member
Free agent

Thought I saw that he was going to be cut- somewhere over there——–>Report

MasterAndCommander
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Free agent

Sounds like teams have started the cutting machine.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Free agent

Hurry up!! Mardi Gras is winding down!!!!Report

Calipatsfan3473
Member
Free agent

Who cares.Report

MasterAndCommander
Editor
Free agent

Man….. aren’t you the Debbie Downer.Report

Calipatsfan3473
Member
Free agent

Long day.Report

MasterAndCommander
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Free agent

LAISSER LES BON TEMPS ROULER!!!!!!Report

LaFeteMattDog
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où est la rue bourbon???????Report

MasterAndCommander
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Ah…… non…Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
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Are David Harris and Armond Armstead the same person?Report

Calipatsfan3473
Member
Free agent

Derrick Johnson is set to become a FA———————->Report

TS13
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Free agent

At 35, hmmm, he could wheel around.Report

Calipatsfan3473
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Harrison is 39.Report

Jdog Lemon Head
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Is that how he rolls?Report

zoocore
Member
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Jdog always keeping it wheel, with the punsReport

Calipatsfan3473
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Just busy 🙁Report

TS13
Member
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All out buying Valentine’s Day gifts!Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
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I’m saving draft thoughts for articles!Report

zoocore
Member
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Still messing with it. I think it’s just a slow day. We need more controversial patriots stories.Report

MrLucky
Member
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The year long Super Bowl drought has been unbearable for us all.Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
Member
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Pretty good meme I saw
comment imageReport

Calipatsfan3473
Member
Free agent

Never is.Report

dp73
Member
Free agent

I posted this the other day.( In no particular order)

Luke Falk, Washington State- QB
Sony Michel, Georgia-RB
Hayden Hurst- South Carolina -TE ( not crazy about is age-24)
Mike McGlinchey, Notre Dame -OT
Connor Williams, Texas-OT
Sam Hubbard, Ohio State -DE
Maurice Hurst, Michigan-DT
Harold Landry, Boston College-OLB
Uchenna Nwosu, USC -OLB
Mike Hughes, UCF-CB
Josh Jackson, Iowa -CB
Lorenzo Carter, Georgia—OLB

Today I was this.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/2018-nfl-mock-draft-feb-12-2018-edition/ss-BBJ2Q6v?li=BBnb7KzReport

Saturn III
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I like Sony, especially the TV’s!Report

dp73
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dp73
Member
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This are just the players I have seen play that the Patriots may have a chance to get.Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
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who’s ready for some NEPFF draft coverage!Report

LaFeteMattDog
Member
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I see you’ve worked them in to a frenzy.Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
Member
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First! Pick! First! Pick! First! Pick! First! Pick!Report

SamiG
Member
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Jdog Lemon Head
Member
Free agent

I don’t know why I continue to read comments regarding the SB. Read the article regarding the illegal formation and couple idiots said:
1) Pats used illegal plays in the past that weren’t called
2) Pats benefited from calls all game long
3) Pats dynasty is over. Eagles dominated the Pats and if they played again, Eagles would win by a larger margin

So much wrong will these statements…Report

dfwpatsfan
Member
Free agent

Unnecessarily stoking controversy with those articles. It seems the only way to engage fans now is to have them squabble over game calls.Report

PatriotPrideBoy
Member
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Gang gangReport

zoocore
Member
Free agent

Am I the only one that read that as “gang bang”, at first?

Yeah? Okay, carry on.Report

LaFeteMattDog
Member
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Well Valentine’s day is coming up. Something special in store for the missus?Report

Jdog Lemon Head
Member
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I’m not hip…what does this actually mean?Report

hugowasmyhomeboy
Member
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It’s a greeting. I had to google it initially.Report

Jdog Lemon Head
Member
Free agent

What’s the origin? I googled it but then it pointed me to urban dictionary…nothing good comes from urban dictionary.Report

Neil X
Member
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I don’t know about that. “Motorboating” is listed there.Report

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